The big day has come and gone. There was a dress and a tux. You walked down the aisle and said, “I do.” The reception went by in a blur, but you remember dancing, laughing, and smiling. The honeymoon was a dream come true. But now what? Will I ever be that happy again, you wonder, and why does everything feel so anti-climactic?
What you are experiencing is known as post-wedding depression or post-wedding blues. It’s not unusual and almost always passes. Left unaddressed, however, it could lead to a diagnosable disorder called situational depression. Pro tip: Don’t leave it unaddressed.
Is it Post-Wedding Blues or Post-Wedding Depression?
You can feel a little listless after any big event—and only you can define what “big event” means. A wedding is a perfect candidate, though. So much build-up and preparation. You may have spent a lot of money and had to interact with a whole lot of people. Strangely, you may miss even the most stressful of responsibilities.
If this sounds familiar, you’re probably dealing with a temporary case of the blues. While you daydream about the big day (and the honeymoon), life goes on. It can feel like a letdown not to have something huge to look forward to as you return to everyday activities.
Post-Wedding Depression
You’ll have to talk with a therapist to get a professional assessment but, in the meantime, here are some factors to consider:
Did you struggle with depression or any other mental health condition prior to the wedding?
Are you experiencing doubt or regret about the choice to get married?
Are long-term marriage commitments overwhelming you?
Do you wonder if your new spouse loves you?
Do you feel unlovable?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you might want to seek help—just in case. If not, there are self-help steps you take if you feel depressed after getting married.
6 Ways to Cope With Post-Wedding Blues
1. Communication
Talk with your spouse about what you’re feeling. Find out if they’re going through something similar. Set a precedent early on to be upfront with each other about emotions. This is a golden opportunity to work as a team to manage a problem.
2. Maintain Some Pre-Marriage Patterns
Married life can be quite an adjustment—especially if you weren’t living together prior to the wedding. So, don’t change all your rhythms and routines. If you had dinner with friends every other Wednesday, for example, keep that going. It’ll help you feel less disoriented by all the post-wedding changes.
3. Focus on a New Project
The wedding planning took up a lot of time. Why not allocate some of that now-available time to working on new goals with your partner? These can be both short-term and long-term plans.
4. Create New Routines
For example, aim some of your energy toward getting organized around the house. You and your partner can divide household chores and create a structure for both of your lives.
5. Learn to Enjoy the DownTime
Even with all the suggestions listed above, it might be best to keep things small. Appreciate not having an impossibly long to-do list. You just underwent one of the most significant changes in your life. There is no need to quickly jump into something else just to ward off a post-wedding feeling of loss.
Ask for Help
Depression is not something to ever take lightly. If your post-wedding blues feel like more than you can handle, let’s talk. I invite you to reach out so we can schedule a free consultation. You do not have to struggle alone and depression therapy can help you learn that.